Rekindled love

This nature is beauty.
This life, of perfection.
I have grown.
I dont take myself seriously anymore.
life is good :]

today the clouds were so amazing,i wanted to cry.
i connected with the world on an intricate.
had some deep insight in the searing hot rain.
i also took pauls closing shift, since he has to close on his birthday. :]
i know he would do the same for me!
good day:D

The Tragedy of our Mother

In the fires of hate, this world, is damned
This destruction of our mother, I cannot stand
For as I watch the forests, burn mightily away
I feel the very essence of my soul, begin to sway

Its like watching a loved one, stab their own heart
As death creeps in, and their eyes begin to dart
And all the while you hold back your tears
And save your screams, lest they reach their ears.

Please mother hold on, to any, even slightest hope of salvation
And let our race be gifted with that oh so sweet divine revelation
Let us rise up and say "Nay we will not sit blindly anymore!"
Let us destroy your enemies, let us settle the score

For we are your children, beautiful and divine
But alas, without you mother, we have gone blind
And now I finally see, that we are eternally bound
Bound to your voice, the emerald sound

So with unconditional love I embrace your light
For mother you have given me the most lucid and clearest of sight
But should you die and fade to ash
I beseech you with a favor, one I feel I must ask
Grace me with rain, in which I may pray
Pray that my body should end and my soul washed away

the only authority is yourself

They pulled me and Tara over while driving through a mountain village
Apparently there was a sign saying that the road was closed
But we saw no sign on the way up or down
And apparently neither did the hundred other cars driving the road
The Federal Police fucked with me because of how I looked
Threatening me, lying to me, and laughing at me.
Pieces of shit.
They made a mistake messing with me.
This sorrow, is now theirs.

I hate not being able to sleep

After long periods of not sleeping, everything starts to become like a dream.
All meshing together, undistinguishable.
Bleh.
I had a very enjoyable time drinking with Meghan last night, now my body is just sore.
All my muscles ache.
Its not a hangover, as I did not have much to drink, nor do I ever get hangovers.
No point in dwelling on it though.

I'm very excited for toni
ght, going to go pick up Tara and possibly go to the beach.

I dont feel much like writing right now
Will recount last nights and probably tonights adventure tomorrow
As I dont see why my sleeping situation should be any different tonight.

Short poem

I wrote this 2 years ago, while in the wilderness.
I feel as if it really resonates with my soul at the moment.

I watched the end of the world
I saw it come;
I tried to save it
But in the end, I bathed in its blood.



I feel no connection to this world
Or its filthy inhabitants
But this is simply my bitter ramblings
An effect of the fact I have yet to meet someone of intelligence in this city
You would think; Los Angeles, one of the worlds largest cities
Perhaps I have just been looking in the wrong places...

Black Magick Desire

Its easy to get caught up in sorrow.
To let the flood of emotions that plague our existence, take importance over our intellect and reason.
Which has been my case as of late.
Not to say it is a terrible thing however, as the greatest enlightenment comes from the most difficult of struggles.
I have been having a difficult time however, and last night I took action.
I was not able to follow the directions of the spell directly, but I feel that such directions as "the candles must never have been lit before" will not heed the magickal current that flows through me, and that my spell will have been successful, if not from just the sheer amount of energy I released last night.
I felt the magick in the air as well, it was suffocating.
The great part about my working last night, is that this ritual is meant to achieve a very specific goal.
So I will be expecting very specific results.

Life otherwise has been eventful.
I dare not write everything that has come to pass, at least not yet, as it involves information with certain individuals who might not be too pleased if I wrote down their actions for the world to see.
Which is regrettable as they do make for fascinating stories.
Soon after my last post however, true beauty struck our course.
As we prepared to make our leave of the mountain village; it began to rain.
To finally see and feel rain after so long of dry and terrible heat; it was indescribable.
Me and Jamie parked on the side of the road and took the the lakes shores, and just sat.
Enjoying the quiet beauty and the feeling of rain against our bodies.
The rain got to such a degree that we had to retreat into our cars, lest we be soaked.
It was beautiful.
I felt more alive then than I have in a long long time.
Interestingly enough, as soon as we got halfway down the mountain, it got unbearably hot and there was not a cloud in sight.
It was as if we crossed into another world.

Well I must leave now and prepare for work.
I shall record the rest of the past weeks adventures when I return.

Crazy Night

Yesterday was pretty exciting.
Woke up, got ready.
Drove to LongBeach and picked up Jamie
We then proceeded to make our way to BigBear, while dealing with the unbearable heat.
2 hours later, we were surrounded by beautiful wilderness.
It was a beautiful cloudy day.
The rest of the day was spent visiting old and walking around the quiet little mountain town that we called home for nearly 4 years.
As night fell, the evening turned into a night of debauchery and midnight talks.
Was a very eventful trip, at the moment, me and Jamie are sitting in an auto repair lobby, as I need to get my brakes replaced.
I'm always baffled by how much it costs to maintain a vehicle.
But such is life.
I am considering doing an auto class, as it probably would save me a great sum of money if I could repair my car on my own.

I am listening to these red necks talk, and its quite entertaining.
Not in a demeaning sort of way, but more of I admire their simplicity.

I just got my quote, its going to cost me around $290
Thats without them fixing whatever is causing my check-engine light to activate.
Cant let myself get caught up in expenses though.

Anyways, today should be fun
When my car is finished, I think me and Jamie are gonna head back to LA.
It was nice to see our old friends here, but it was only nice to a certain degree.
I enjoy my solitude.
Being around people for this long has actually proven to be quite an enjoyable challenge.